GUEST BLOGGER: Finding Virtue through Pain

Greetings, JAR readers! 

My name's Josh.  To those of you who don't know me, I'm jruss' little brother.  Let me preface by saying that jruss requested that I do a guest post on this blog for some time, and I've been putting it off for one reason or another. I told her that she would have her post by January, and January came and went.  Now that February is almost over,  I'm finally sitting down and writing said blog post.  Why did it take me so long to fulfill a simple request?

Originally, when asked by jruss to make this post, I planned on doing a piece on Shalom, or the hebrew word for peace.  Then I figured I would write on my time at Passion 2012, a conference where 45,000 twenty-somethings all traveled to Atlanta to learn more about Jesus.  Neither of those posts ended up being written. 

Again, for those of you who don't know me,  I'm predisposed to being lazy. If I'm not careful, that laziness can consume whole days, or even weeks of my time.  Because of my sluggish nature, over the years i've crafted scores of excuses for why I don't get things done on time.  I'm too tired.  My room needed cleaning.  I'm not good at time management.  There's too many other things on my plate.  I forgot.

Which brings me to the nature of today's post:  The topic I'd like to discuss is the process of manning up. Allow me to define the the phrase "to man up."

Manning up Is the process of a adolescent male learning what it means to be an ideal man.  it means that one must discover what virtues are important, and then one must strive to incorporate those virtues into his day to day going-ons.  To man up is not an easy task, but it is one worthwhile.

David, my roommate, is an unwitting profit.  At some point this past summer, he said to me "This is the year that Josh grows up."  What a bittersweet premonition.  This academic year has been the one of the most stressful and painful experiences of my life.  All growth requires some period of pain.  I am not sure if suffering is a mere correlation, or in fact a causation of growth, but I am certain that one cannot have the former without the latter. Case in point- growth spurts.

Although I am pretty short,  I can remember the vivid growing pangs of puberty. At some point in my youth, I grew very quickly, and with that physical growth came immense suffering, primarily in the muscles in my calves.  It made going to bed on certain nights hell.  Sharp, aching daggers being stabbed into my legs kept me awake in my early teen years.  What was the result of all of that pain?  I grew a few inches.  The same can be said about emotional and mental suffering-  with pain comes growth.

 All growth has pain in it, but not all pain leads to growth.  only under certain circumstances will pain lead to growth.  For the sake of brevity (and lack of wisdom), I cannot list all of the conditions necessary and sufficient needed to to make pain our teacher, but I will attempt to list some.  This is an incomplete list, and at some point, it will need to be revised:

Internal traits, i.e. traits found within the sufferer

Openness-  Only if one is willing to grow  will he be able to change.  this condition is the opposite of stubbornness

Humility- without realizing one's own finite nature, one will have a difficult time learning virtues.  the process of learning to be virtuous requires many teachers, both anthropomorphic and ambiguous, and one must swallow his pride to learn from another.

External traits, I.e. traits found in the sufferer's environment

Grace- This is the most abstract concept on the list.  Nonetheless, it is essential for personal growth.  At some point, generally during the most stressful part of one's trial, grace must be offered to the sufferer. Examples of grace include but are not limited to: forgiving the sufferer, allowing some contractual breach "just this once", offering a kind word or a sympathetic ear, etc

Time-  Here's the big one.  Without some unit of temporal distance from the suffering, one will never be able to recover from suffering. Emotional and spiritual growth will not come overnight

Allow me to make two caveats

1.One should not intentionally harm himself for the sake of emotional and spiritual grow, such actions are fool hearty.  Life will throw enough heartache and grief in our paths, we need not expedite the process.

2.  At first glance, this post may seem masochistic.  This is not my intention.  Yes it is through suffering that I have been learning to become a man, but that is not to say I am not enjoying my life.  The subjects of joy and  thankfulness are ones too profound and weighty to be discussed in this letter to any degree.

So this is the  process I've been using to learn how to become more virtuous, to become more of the man I'm called to be.  This year, I've been learning patience, time management, self-discipline, and above all gratitude. 

I hope that me sharing this snapshot of my learning process will encourage and enlighten you, JAR readers.

Have a blessed and wonderful week,

Josh Russell